A Snapshot of my Year

2014 was full of memorable events, things that will last in my memory (even as unreliable as it is) for ages.

I spent most of 2014 as a semi retired, full time grand mother, part-time dollar store employee, pursuing a disability claim.  Oh the stories.

Being a full time grand mother in semi retirement was amazing, absolutely beyond words.  I loved all the time I had to spend with my grand babies.  I got to be a part of the first day of school, school bus rides and birthday parties.  I got to be a part of after school projects, baking cookies, and romps in grandmas bed.  And best of all, I got my very own name.  My eldest grand baby has christened me “Wogoog”.

But I hated being poor. I hate state assistance. I hate free clinics. I hated feeling like a burden on society and that my input didn’t count. Waiting in line, waiting on phones, waiting for help, waiting, waiting, waiting and nothing.  No help with the pain, with the mosters in my mind or the mounting bills. After it was all said and done, I ended up un-mediated, un-insured, foreclosed upon, deeply in debt and with no prayer of getting my disability claim approved.  So, moral of the story is, no matter how disabling your physical pain is, no matter how often the deafening clatter of suicide overshadows your mind,  you’re not going to get disability if there’s any chance it might be helpful. Chapter closed, I will go to my grave as a working member of society. No matter how it makes me feel.

In the midst of all this, in a grand un-meeting of the minds, the love of my life and I had a huge disagreement that included no words. And, considering that both he and I were 100% correct in our opinion and actions, the flurry of activity that had been occurring in order to arrange our co-habitation, abruptly ceased. So there was no September wedding. There is no little love nest for two old, crusty, farts. There is no sipping coffee and rocking on the front porch while we solve the problems of the world. I remember reading about a belief where soul mates continue to find each other through incarnations; maybe next time my love.

Then the big surprise came. I moved in with my mother. As the years march on, age had snuck in and was threatening her quality of life. So, since I am the most mobile of the trio of kids, (kind of a nice way to say that I have no life, no family, no ties) I moved to northern Virginia and into my childhood bedroom. It was supposed to be a mutually rewarding arrangement, however time is such a cruel story teller.

So here I sit, it’s my birthday. Luckily, I have all of 2015 ahead of me, since I’m unemployment (part-time contractor, no security), homeless (reminded daily that I’m living in my mom’s house and nothing is mine), friendless, and an un medicated grump pot. Guess that means I can go no where but up.

Price of Anger

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You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.

What You Want

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