We all Pretend…

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Mistakes

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Again

DEPRESSION_by_optiknerve_grThe nights are longer now.

The air is cold some how.

All I know is, I’m alone once again.

.

I’ve heard it all before,

I dreamed this time would come,

but there’s no comfort, no solace in the words.

— charliey4

I Deserve to Be Happy

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Low self-esteem and little or no self-worth are characteristic of depressed women. Their mistaken belief that they do not deserve to be happy can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. When bad things happen, women may feel guilt for having brought about these unfortunate circumstances. It is illogical to think that people always get what they deserve in life. Therefore, women should not judge their self-worth by their circumstances. Women should remind themselves daily that they deserve to be happy in order to break free from their negative thoughts.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/109123-affirmations-women-coming-out-depression/#ixzz2narlJnOW

doors

door2Doors.  They are always opening and closing.  Sometimes they close in your face.  Sometimes they open and you fall in.  But it seems the only constant is that they are always opening and closing and I seem to have no control.

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Uncontrollable Emotions

deression“I am getting tired of pretending that I am happy..pretending that I am okay. I am not happy. I am not okay. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I know that I am surrounded by people who care about me.. but it is not enough. It is not enough because just because someone cares about you and can try and listen to you.. it does not mean they understand you. They do not know what you think about, they do not know that at night time you feel so lonely……….” excerpt from Uncontrollable Emotions.

Isn’t it true?  Everyone can have the best of intentions but they just don’t get it.  Unless you’re someone who is trying to manage depression and/or bipolar disorder, it’s impossible to really understand the depths of the loneliness.  I’ve reached out to close friends in my circle and educated them on my illness, asked for their help and even written down what they can do to help me.  My moods come and go, and none of them reach out to be to offer help.  All I get is painful comments about ‘getting over it’ or ‘you were more fun last week’.

I stand on my own, armed with the weapons I can find.  It’s me against bipolar.  Come on!  Give me your best shot.

 

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