Uncontrollable Emotions

deression“I am getting tired of pretending that I am happy..pretending that I am okay. I am not happy. I am not okay. I feel like I have no one to talk to. I know that I am surrounded by people who care about me.. but it is not enough. It is not enough because just because someone cares about you and can try and listen to you.. it does not mean they understand you. They do not know what you think about, they do not know that at night time you feel so lonely……….” excerpt from Uncontrollable Emotions.

Isn’t it true?  Everyone can have the best of intentions but they just don’t get it.  Unless you’re someone who is trying to manage depression and/or bipolar disorder, it’s impossible to really understand the depths of the loneliness.  I’ve reached out to close friends in my circle and educated them on my illness, asked for their help and even written down what they can do to help me.  My moods come and go, and none of them reach out to be to offer help.  All I get is painful comments about ‘getting over it’ or ‘you were more fun last week’.

I stand on my own, armed with the weapons I can find.  It’s me against bipolar.  Come on!  Give me your best shot.

 

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dmauldin53
    May 23, 2013 @ 06:08:13

    I admire that you are still standing. My family is caring too, but no one really understands except my mom. She went through it too and still does to some extent today. I know that feeling, that no one understands me or what I feel. I’m not bi-polar, just manic-depressive with lots of anxiety, social anxiety, general anxiety, you name it. Anyway, what I meant to say was I’m here anytime you need to talk. I’m a good listener. 🙂

    Reply

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