Belief in Success

dep.

To succeed, we must first believe that we can.

Michael Korda

.

To succeed, to succeed at what?  I live with the depression part of bipolar every day.  I take enough medications to start my own pharmacy.  And I don’t see myself as reaching my definition of the “normal” mood range.  I was talking to my psychiatrist the other day, trying to explain.  To hell with his opinion of normal.  He doesn’t have to live with “this”.  It becomes hard to continue on the regimen set up to supposedly protect me for stimulus that will trigger an event when I can’t see the prize.  I’m the one who mechanically goes through each day putting on “hats”  (my name for putting on artificial moods and personalities) to socially appear normal for the situation.  I don’t see my moods, social interactions, etc as on the same level as those around me.  But I’m told to continue, to believe I can do it.  Stay on the regimen.  Keep taking the meds.

who am iI haven’t had a serious episode in a year now.  That’s great, right?  I still have the same job, home, companion…… I am managing to keep this blog and other daily activities going.  Is this my normal?  One day I want to smile, just because I’m alive.  Not because the self help books, doctors, therapists tell me it’s the appropriate thing to do.

I believe I can.  I believe I can.  I believe I can succeed at being a productive member of society.  Even though I do have this hurdle called Bipolar.  I believe I can.  I believe I can.  I believe I can succeed at just being “happy” today.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: