Thank you for calling….

Today was my first day back at work after a short term leave of absence for a medication change due to a mixed mood episode. Quite a mouth full for one sentance, but now you’re up to date.

My patience still has a very sharp edge and it takes a great deal of effort not to lash out at perceived idiots or other imagined agrivants. My nice and happy meter is registering at about 70% otherwise and my normal daily routine no longer feels alien to me, like I was dropped into someone elses life.

So with bills pilling up and insisting on being paid, I prepared myself the best I could and reported back to work. This may have been a few days early, but unfortunately checks in the checkbook does not mean money in the bank.
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Now everyone has stress at work and mine is no exception. I work in a call center with a focus on customer service and sales. I have numbers I am required to meet for everthing I do. Numbers for everything from how long I stay on the call to how nice I am, from how much I sell to how long my break is. There is a number for everything! So we have me, struggling to be happy in her own skin, talking to un-happy customers, trying to meet the numbers and you can imagine the situations I found myself in today. It was a challenge. And by close of shift, my daily numbers weren’t that great.

Now one of my famous circles of thought begins. I try to figure out if I helped or hurt myself by going back to work before I was ready. Additional stress I do not need. I know that. I should just let it be. The decision was made. The deed was done. Just get on with the next day.

Easier said than done, but I’m trying. I do not want another mixed mood episode so I needto remove what stress I can, when I can.

Please excuse typos. Spell check is not working 🙂

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